Letting go of the expert goal

I've been curious about wine for a long time. But I rarely ordered or bought wine because I didn't know what I was doing.

And I am very (overly) worried about doing or saying something that shows I'm out of place in any way.  So rather than ask questions of a server that might show I don't know all the right wine terms, I just order something else.

This year I'm working on getting over that as I start to visit local wineries and just try things and buy what I like.

As I do that, I continue to remind myself that it's not necessary for me to become an expert or to be able to talk about wine like a sommelier.  This is something I'm doing for me, because it's fun and it gives me another way to look at Florida and anywhere else I'm traveling.

Letting go of the goal of becoming an expert (or the fear of show how little knowledge I have) is freeing.    I have avoided many things just because I didn't want to show my ignorance.  So I'm going to be asking dumb questions and tasting wine in the "wrong" way (I've probably already done that).

And I'm sure someone is going to smirk when I decide I like a particular wine but can't describe it other than to say it tastes great.  I'm still going to have fun with it - already am - and do me.

Here and there I'm going to do some reading, maybe even take a class to learn more, but I won't wait to have the knowledge.  This Wine 101 article in the WSJ about how to taste a wine is a first step.

Later this week I'll post something about my visit in November to Arrington Vineyards in Tennessee - which was a lot of fun.

 

Just saw that there's a 31 day Reset Your Life challenge happening this month and headed by HappyBlackWoman.

It sounds fantastic.  And I'm thinking about doing some of the exercises - but I may not do any.  December is so jam packed and I am also committed to doing a better job with holiday decorating and am nursing a sprained ankle.

Full plate.

Would love to do this as a face-to-face exercise.  That is one of my current goals - doing more face-to-face time with my friends and just being out in the world more, doing what I love, rather than caving in to things that feel like obligations.

This blog is one of my 4th quarter 2010 ideas, but I haven't done much with it.  I have 4 winery visits to write up and just haven't put anything down.  So that feels like a failure.  But is it?  This is a hobby blog added to another hobby I have in addition to being a mother, wife, full-time working professional and a human being.

So I am going to stop calling my failure to blog the wine visits failures. I will write them.  And I know that actually having visited 4 wineries and having fun trips every time is more important to the journey.

But yes, I will get pictures and stories up soon.

This is the first post in the new portion of this blog.  Obviously it's been a long time since I've posted as WriteWoman.  Most of my blogging has been through my Black Books Blog since 2005.

I'm posting again here because I wanted to write about some non-book topics, specifically travel and wine. But, as usual, I have been wringing my hands in worry and procrastination about launching a wine and travel blog perfectly.  On my own domain, with the right look, etc.

And I've let weeks and months pass me by.

It would be better to do this that way.  And if I wait, I might never do it at all.

Fortunately, I've been doing what I envisioned and visiting vineyards.  But not posting.

Here's where all of this comes from - the seed of this new blog.  I've been a little blue about my suburban life.  I go to work, I parent, I get excited when I can go to a mainstream movie and have dinner at a chain restaurant with my husband.  Boring and typical.  Fine most of the time.  Except when I'm sad about not making a second trip to France or never having been to West Africa.  Or on the nights when I wonder if I'll ever have the time, money and opportunity to visit a country long enough to learn something and make friends.

Focusing on what I couldn't do was draining and pointless.  So I decided to do what I can for now.  Even if it meant only a little day trip.

So in August, when my husband and son were on a weekend trip to Chicago (hey, that's somewhere I could have gone!), my daughter and I had our first No Boys Allowed (NBA) weekend.  We invited two friends and went on a trip to a winery.  It was one of our best ever days.  (And I'll post pics from that trip very soon).

I decided that what would be fun and uplifting and enough would be to make day trips and side trips that would be my right now adventures.  Yes, I still want to plan big trips and travel out of the country again. But I had fallen into a habit of waiting for the perfect time to do everything.  And everything was passing me by - and I am tired of regrets.

So this blog is my little project to record the adventures.  I'm starting with trips in Florida to our region's wineries.  And I'm reading about wine and learning something new.

Of course, this has great benefits, as I have lovely glasses of wine at home.  My little suburban life is already improved.

If you are a wine lover and have a favorite wine blogger or winery site to recommend, please leave it in the comments.  Maybe you'll give me an idea for another adventure.

Random notes
John McWhorter, author of Authentically Black and Losing the Race, makes me uncomfortable. He is one of the black neo-conservatives who challenges the old-guard civil rights establishment and says that many of African America's coping mechanisms and ideas about race and class are self-defeating. I try to read and listen to "the other side" from time to time and am working my way through Authentically Black as a result. McWhorter makes me uncomfortable because what he says a)often comes across as harsh b) or what we might otherwise label as racist and c) because I find myself agreeing with some of his points (definitely not all). Anyway, I read this essay in City Journal recently. Here he writes about how rap retards black success. Since I had my son (even before, really) I've listened to less rap, hip hop and even youth-oriented pop. A part of that is because I'm older and partying and talking trash is not on my agenda. But part of it is that I am over the bitch and 'ho labelling, the cursing in general and the often unhealthy sexual imagery. Now, though, I can't even listen to it because it's going into my son's head too. I won't keep him from listening to popular music, but I definitely want to wait as many years as possible and I will be monitoring the airwaves and CDs and mP3s like a hawk.


Shifting Sisters
HarambeeJournal sent me a note about this book, Shifting, The Double Lives of Black Women in America. It sounds like something I should read. And it makes me want to get serious about starting my luncheon book club. Perhaps I will, if I can find another couple of hours a week and a few friends to buy in.

New reading
I've been very mystery-focused lately, with Paula L. Woods' Charlotte Justice character. I've ready Inner-City Blues and Stormy Weather and both were good. I do think that her stories are a bit less intense than some other mysteries. The main character is under duress, but not in the same, end-of-book fashion as some other sleuths. Still, I like her tone and the way it's very contemporary, but still written, not just thrown together.
I'm now reading Douglass' Women, by Jewell Parker Rhodes, who I've never read. It's a novel about Frederick Douglass' black wife and white mistress. I haven't read any historical novels for awhile, definitely not slavery novels. I think I had my fill of that for a time after taking the Slavery in the Novel class during graduate school. I loved the work and the research, but now that reading is chiefly an escape from dishes, laundry and a day job, I need a lot more fun fantasy in my head.

Save this Mag!
Bitch Magazine is on the edge and they need subscribers to save the pub. Lisa Jervis, publisher, has sent out an email appeal. I'm going to post it here. Please pass it on and subscribe. www.bitchmagazine.com

Dear friends--

As many of you know, Bitch has always functioned on a shoestring budget, especially in the spreading-the-word department. Well, our mid-year financial statements show that the shoestring has gotten even stringier of late. We're falling pretty short of our projected magazine sales for the year, and to ensure that there's a Bitch next year and for many years to come, we need your help now. To put it bluntly, we need more subscribers. About 3,000 more.

Here's why subscriptions are so crucial to our financial health: When people buy Bitch at a bookstore, we eventually (four to five months later) get between $1.77 and $1.98 of the $4.95 plus tax that it costs. When people subscribe, they pay only $3.75 per issue (better for them), and we get all of the money right away (better for us).

A lot of people think that buying Bitch on the newsstand supports us just as much as subscribing. Some even think it's more helpful because it convinces bookstores that Bitch is worth carrying. But the bottom line is that Bitch is much better off having you as a subscriber than as a newsstand buyer. (Of course we'd rather have people buying it in the bookstore than not buying it at all, but I promise that stores will continue to stock the magazine, and new newsstand buyers will always come along.)

And then there are all those folks out there who say, "Oh, yeah, Bitch, I've thumbed through that in the bookstore/been to the website/read a friend's copy, and I always meant to subscribe." Now is the time to get all of these people to actually sign up!

Here's what you can do to help:

-If you are not a subscriber right now, become one today. Go to www.bitchmagazine.com/merch.htm, call us toll-free at 877-21-BITCH, or send a check for $15 to Bitch, 1611 Telegraph Ave Ste. 515, Oakland CA 94612.

-Buy gifts for your friends and family. Multiple subscriptions are even cheaper: $15 for the first and $12 for each additional. See info above, and please note: If you are ordering online, the discount for multiple subscriptions will not show up automatically. Write a note in the comments field about it (along with the other addresses, of course) and we will manually adjust the price.

-Pass this message along. This e-mail is going out to about 700 or so people. To meet our goal, every one of you would need to buy 4.3 subscriptions--or we would collectively need to reach out to a whole bunch more than 700 of Bitch's closest friends. So please send this to anyone you know who likes the magazine or who you think would like the magazine. Help us get the word out!

-Tell people about Bitch. Read it on public transportation. Leave a copy in places where people will discover it (your local coffee house, your college's student center, the waiting room at your friendly women's health clinic, etc.). If you want to take part in a more formal effort to do this, e-mail publicity director Marisa Meltzer at marisa@bitchmagazine.com and tell her you're interested in helping to promote the magazine in your area.

-Buy a t-shirt, too. We have a bunch of styles now and they're super-cute. If you're an exhibitionist, we also have very happenin' underwear for sale. (Pictures and descriptions are at www.bitchmagazine.com/merch.htm.)

-Pester your local library to buy a subscription (they really do listen to patron requests).

-Donate a subscription to your local campus women's center, community resource center, or the like.

Anything you can do to get us further toward the goal of 3,000 subscriptions will help Bitch be strong and healthy!

With gratitude,
Lisa

--
Lisa Jervis
Bitch: Feminist Response to Pop Culture
PLEASE NOTE OUR NEW ADDRESS!
1611 Telegraph Avenue, Suite 515
Oakland, California 94612
510-625-9390/lisa@bitchmagazine.com/www.bitchmagazine.com

Not Raymond
I posted earlier about E. Lynn Harris' new book. It's out tomorrow. Here's a NYTimes story on him and the book.

More Books
Walter Mosley's latest, Fear Itself, is now out. It's the second Fearless Jones novel.
Related: I'm pretty sure I heard that one of the cable networks is going to produce a series of mysteries based on the Easy Rawlins novels, also by Walter Mosley. But now I can't find the reference. Anybody have a clue?

Can't Get Enough
Barry White died yesterday. He was 58.

Liberty and Truth
CSMonitor had an excellent story this week about the truth about our founding fathers and slavery. Too often we gravitate toward a simple, easy version of our history. And we're told it's unpatriotic to think otherwise. That's lazy thinking and a disservice to our public history. And for me, that makes all our contemporary patriotic moments hard to swallow. I love being an American and I know that it has never been the kind of all-welcoming place we're taught it was from the beginning. It still isn't.

Book Anticipation
E. Lynn Harris's own invisible life will be revealed this week when his memoir, What Becomes of the Brokenhearted, hits shelves. I've read all his novels and often wondered how much of the tales are based on his own life. Now I can't wait to find out. I'm also curious about his style in the memoir and whether it will be as readable as the novels. They are very much popcorn reading - fun and light and easy to turn one page after another.

Standing on the Top -- Whiteness Studies
Darryl Fears has an interesting article in the Washington Post about Whiteness studies, the new discipline of studying and critiquing the creation of the white race and white privilege. Worth a read. (via HarambeeJournal). While I know that white people often perceive themselves as raceless (if they think about race at all), I'm concerned that these efforts aren't focused more on bringing an analysis of race into the established disciplines. It seems to me that would be more appropriate in the long run. But I'm no longer walking the academic path, so what do I know?

Speaking of White
This mob idea seems like a very "white" thing to me. I'm not calling people out by race, but rather, noting that this seems to be something only a privileged class of people could or would do. What is the point of having a mindless mob with no real goal to pursue? And if this were a group of poor people or people of color doing this, would it be interesting or would they all end up in jail? Someone needs to do this kind of action with a purpose - to actually address some of our society's problems, rather than just as a lark.

And yes, I'm reminded again that I need to read Smart Mobs.

"Overeducated" Black women and Negro Nerds in general
Excellent links over at George's place about Black women and education. Including an excerpt from Trudier Harris' essay, Mind Work: How a Ph.D. Affects Black Women, at the Chronicle of Higher Education. She talks about how the pursuit and attainment of a Ph.D effectively makes African American women outsiders in their own community and makes dating more difficult. Selfishly I'd like to hear about women who have gone the Ph.D route after having children. I notice that many of the sisters in that set are without children as well.

Friendly takeovers
I love this idea. Just this weekend I had brunch at an upscale pseudo-bistro and when I arrived the hostess knew exactly who I was meeting. Before I even said a word. My girlfriends and I were the only black people in the restaurant. I've gotten so used to that (being the only or one of) at this point. It's still wonderful to go somewhere and see other black folks, though.
The friendly takeover idea does remind me of the swarm, however. Which reminds me that I have yet to read Howard Rheingold's Smart Mobs. From the web site's summary of the book:

Smart mobs emerge when communication and computing technologies amplify human talents for cooperation. The impacts of smart mob technology already appear to be both beneficial and destructive, used by some of its earliest adopters to support democracy and by others to coordinate terrorist attacks.

The war thing
PopMatters has some good essays on the cultural aspects of our war efforts and coverage.

Tuned out
Well, I've pretty much buried my head in the sand for the last week. I've only caught bits of the President's pronouncements, like the money request to Congress today, by accident. And, though I am listening out for war news, I am so glad that I don't have to watch it 12 hours a day for work. Unfortunately that makes it all too easy for me to avoid it altogether. That is one of the things that makes our modern wars even scarier to me. That we as Americans can just ignore what's going on and watch our cable tv, our hoops, or just keep on living our normal lives. I wonder how the lack of impact this has on American life relates to our willingness to engage in warfare. Are we more willing to let our government start the fight since it doesn't mean we'll have to go hungry, worry about bombing raids or go to hospitals that are ill-equipped to help us?

Being out of the war loop I was stunned by the story of the American sergeant accused of a grenade attack on his superiors. Apparently this happened in Vietnam as well and was called "fragging." He's an African American Muslim so that of course is being raised as a possible issue. I think it's just another part of this strange and horrific journey that we're on. It reminds me also that although I was an adult during GWI, I really didn't think about it that much. So this feels like my first "real" war - and even this feels very remote. I wonder what would happen to the national psyche if we got real, unfiltered information about all the atrocities in this "conflict."

It's been too long.
Well, the war has begun and I haven't much to add to all the alternative coverage and commentary. Only that I've been here, and here to get other views and ended up reading notes from a blogger in Baghdad.

I decided to make time today to post photos from the one protest I did attend earlier this year.

Babysitter Bums

Note: the following is really just a vent, so if it doesn't make sense, that's just too bad for you. There are many challenges in new motherhood/parenthood and this week I encountered a big one. The babysitter quest. My second babysitter bailed, just as the first one did - no notice, no call, just *poof.* It makes me crazy. Just crazy enough to think about calling their phone numbers over and over again and leaving mean messages, but not insane enough to actually go through with the harassment. It makes me crazy to be dependent on anyone for precisely this reason -- people fail you all the time.

In the regular, non-babysitting-obsessed world, we're on some kind of higher terror alert. And once again I don't know whether to go bury my head in the Florida sand or gather our canned goods. I firmly believe we won't know when such a disaster is planned or carried out until it's upon us. Even if we were sure something was going to happen, we'd never be truly prepared. I'd rather not know so I won't waste my final hours worrying.

Rev. JJ

This old news, but from a small town, so maybe it's not all over. Jesse Jackson's home county, Greenville County, S.C., has not made MLK day a government holiday. He wants to change that and was involved in a recent demonstration about it.

In looking for that clip, I found a site with a letter from Jesse Peterson urging Americans (like me?) to help him stop Jesse Jackson's push for reparations. Here's a sample:

Millions of blacks (not to mention many white liberals) simply LOVE Jesse Jackson. Yet this evil man has done more than any other single person to undermine the morality of America and destroy our country.

Yeah, Jesse has problems, I don't deny that. But is he evil? Has he done more than any other person to destroy us? Hmmmm. The answer would be NO! I can name any number of people who've done more. And I'm confused about the destruction of our country - aren't we still here? And if we're so decimated by Jesse, how are we about to stomp Saddam? Doesn't sound like Jesse's really a problem. The real problem is many Americans refusal to even talk about reparations and affirmative action and national health care and many other issues. Even as millions are without healthcare, Blacks continue to lag behind in employment, education and wealth. What are they afraid of if we talk about these issues? Justice? And no I'm not going to link to the site.

Just a quickie

I've been off for awhile, mothering and writing mostly. Here's something that published today -- a review of the new Zora biography. More work is on the horizon!

Have a C*ke and a smile

Heard today on Marketplace that Russell Simmons and crew are boycotting Pepsi because of "cultural disrespect." Apparently the soda makers dropped Ludacris after some conservative talkers went after them for his sexually explicit lyrics. So Pepsi hires Ozzy Osborne, who's used profanity here and there. That, Simmons says, is a double standard and folks out to quit drinking Pepsi.

But do boycotts work anymore? Or will it just be the glare of publicity that brings Pepsi back into the rap fold? And isn't it interesting that Pepsi shies away from Ludacris and sexually explicit lyrics, but has no problem with (and isn't pressured for) using Britney's Beyonce's body to titillate. Don't say a word, just look at the pretty pictures.

Things to read and see
Bayard Rustin documentary, Brother Outsider, on PBS Monday, Jan. 20. I got this link from Aaron, who I don't actually know, but read frequently. I saw it one day after telling L. about Rustin, who, though an important figure in the civil rights movement, is rarely talked about in classrooms. He was a strategist, worked with King and organized the March on Washington. Why do we hear so little about him? Because he was gay.
UPDATE: Read Nat Hentoff's piece in the Village Voice to find out some of the folks who tried to out Rustin.

Thulani Davis on Malcolm Shabazz' papers going to the Schomburg. The "trove" will likely yield new biographies, speech compilations and other insight on the man and his work.

First Lott, Now Frist
Okay, I'm not so innocent that I expected the new Republican leader in the Senate to be better than Lott. But I am amazed that his biographical spin includes this tidbit: Until he was 37 years old, Bill Frist had never voted in an election. This makes me crazy. Why? What? How could he not vote? I guess, if you come from money, you know where the power really is and you don't need no stinking ballot to get it. Grrr.

Lott-ie Dottie, He Likes to Party
Well it's over, Lott has resigned and all kinds of black people are reportedly cheering. And I'm wondering if it was all worth it. Bush is still president, we're still heading to war and Trent just becomes the undercover racist conservative's new hero. I don't believe he's the devil, but I do understand that he believes what he said and is just sorry to have slipped.

The thing that keeps nagging at me is that if we could get this riled up over the war, corporate scandal or elections, we could really do something. I suppose one could argue that it's easy to get all righteous when there's one person to focus on. I'm thinking that's a big cop out, though.

Holiday Consumption
Last night - yes on 12/20, all last-minute -- I went out to buy some music for a gift. I was looking for gospel on cassettes - which are pretty scarce. Anyway, I went into our nearest Christian music store and it wasn't that busy. Which was a sharp reminder of where our collective heads are at (those of us who *celebrate* Christmas). I naively thought a Christian store would be kind of busy on Christmas. But apparently everyone was at Tar-jé. Then again, I'm not exactly a textbook Christian. More of a backslider, so what would I know?

Zora! Zora!
A new and fabulous (so I've heard) biography of Zora Neale Hurston is out this month. It's penned by Valerie Boyd, an editor at the AJC. There's also a new book that contains volumes of her letters - so more insight, more love for ZNH. I haven't gotten either book yet, but perhaps I'll get into them before the festival.

Missing in Cyberspace
Yep - I've been so far from the blogosphere it's funny. Or sad. I am struggling with time. Juggling motherhood, writing, a full-time job and reading is no joke. I really like blogging and reading blogs - I feel challenged by both pursuits - but it is one of the first things to fall off my to do list. Lately I've been questioning whether or not I am really a blogger, or just a lurker. Since I haven't figured it out yet, I figured I might as well post some things.

Secret of longevity: avoidance of men
Mary Parr, the oldest living person in the U.S., died yesterday. She was 113 years old. Her secret to long life: never getting married. Well, there goes my shot at living to 113.

Tavis on Fresh Air
Fresh Air had an interview with Tavis Smiley on yesterday's show. Tavis, formerly of BET, broadcasts on Tom Joyner, CNN, and now NPR (how many jobs does that brother have?). Well he and host Terry Gross started off with a strange conversation about how black people don't listen to NPR (National Public Radio). I was shocked and appalled. Apparently I am either a) not black or b) having aural delusions, since I swear I've been listening to NPR for years. Anyway, Tavis made some comment about how his friends are more likely to know about the NBA than NPR. Now let's be real here. If anybody else, say Andy Rooney or some other obnoxious white commentator had made the same remark, we'd be calling him or her out of his or her name. It makes me sad to hear an African American make such sweeping generalizations about us -- a very diverse population. Okay - so I've vented. The interview is really interesting, once you get past that moment. I wonder, since we don't listen to NPR, who is listening to Tavis' show? Alright, enough.

Not Much, But Something
I believe my horoscope for today says it all: Taurus for Friday, Sept. 06: You have that rare ability to say the right thing at the right time. Complete strangers are easily impressed, as well they should be. Let your self-assurance carry you forward in a blaze of light. (finally, someone got it right!)


Quickly
Miss N.C. (yes, I am actually referring to the winner of the pageant) is on her way to the big Miss America shindig. Only there are two of the tiara-ed ladies. One is Native American, one is white and there's a nude photo involved. As with the Vanessa Williams mess, I think it's very interesting that a franchise built on exploiting women's bodies can restrict women based on what they do with their own bodies. We're so confused.

Return Ramblings
Yep - we hit the road, or rather the skies, for the Labor Day weekend. Family, baby and the last rainy days of August. On the flight into South Carolina, on a small jet with less than 20 passengers, the flight attendant (the only one) said that if any of us dipped snuff or used chewing tobacco that we should, please, use the lavatory. I have never heard mention of those tobacco products on any other flights. *sigh* Only on a flight to S.C. Oh well, at least when she said that I was sure we were headed home!

Boxer Brother
Here's an interesting discussion of the Joe Boxer ad - you know, the one with the black man dancing in his undies and smiling something fierce - from Kmart. I really thought the ad was bizarre, but it did it's job and got my attention. Now I think: Joe Boxer - guy dancing - KMart. Some folks think it's a bit buffoonish. I'm still contemplating that - I wonder will we ever get to be playful without all those years of history tainting every black grin, quick step and laugh. I think Spike Lee was doing some KMart commercials. Surely this isn't one of them? See one of Spike's ads.